Married People Texts: Amazon and Appalachia

November 2, 2012

Me: Hey, you cool if I rent Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets from Amazon?

Karl: Yes!

Me: Awesome! You're the best!

Karl: I mean no! Amazon doesn't work unless your paper is done!

Karl: They called me and said so.

Karl: They said it will look like it works, but your eyes will fall out the next day.

Karl: Actually scratch that. They eyes falling out thing is what my parents said about manual stimulation, not what the Amazon people said. You're good.

Me: Thanks?

November 5, 2012

Me: Good news! The doctors said my irregular hemoglobin is harmless. It's just some weird genetic thing!

Karl: Or maybe you're a blue person.

Me: What?

Karl: You know. In Appalachia there are blue people. They have weirdly shaped hemoglobin that makes all of their blood look blue, making them look entirely blue.

Me: I doubt I have the blue gene.

5 minutes pass

Karl: I hope we get blue kids! That would rock! We would tell them they are super heroes!

Now I think I hope we have blue kids too! How cool would that be?!

Married People Texts: Bond

Karl: So Adele sings the theme some for the new Bond movie. :)

Me: What?

Karl: Ya, Adele the singer that won the awards but smokes and is having a secret baby has a song out that is the theme for the new Bond movie.

Me: That is incredibly random, Love.

Karl: It just made me wonder if Daniel Craig is the baby daddy. They are both British, they are both stars, and they worked together on Bond.

Me: Oh man, I love you.

Karl: I love you too. :)

This guy...I tell ya.

(Photos: Pacific Coast News | Bauer Griffin | alterations by Zimbio)

Is it possible Daniel Craig is crying because it turns out the baby isn't actually his? Conspiracy!