Things They Don't Tell You About Being Married

As it turns out, car rides can be some of the most fun times in your marriage. Take our wedding day for example. After our ceremony on our way to the hotel before the reception (ahem)... Karl and I were just giddy. We had the Katy Perry CD in and blasted it, all the while singing a long. That's right. Both of us. Tonight we made a little half hour trek in the car and we listened to "Call Me Maybe" (3 times), "We Are Never Getting Back Together," and "Payphone" (3 times). We danced and sang in the car. My almost 28 year old husband sang We Are Never Getting Back Together like a pro. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

Karl and I also like to change the words to songs if we're feeling particularly silly/improv inclined. Tonight we changed the lyrics of "Kiss Me" to reflect the plot of She's All That. It went something like 

"Change me,

So I can be so cool

Don't let

That hacky sack hit the floor"

And so on. We're pretty loose about making the syllables fit. So ya. There it is for you. Men actually do like pop songs and very often can sing the words better than you can. Now you know.

Things they don't tell you about marriage: Telepathy

This morning, I glanced over at Karl and noticed his leg. Like really noticed it. Karl is 6'1 and really big boned. His femur is like 4 feet long! I kid you not. I mentioned it to him. There was a pause. Then I said, "In caveman days, if I killed you, I would definitely use your femur to bludgeon another caveman to death."

He then said, "Is is weird that I was thinking that exact same thing?"

Telepathy.

Things They Don't Tell You Before Marriage: Sleeping Habits

This is what an ideal world would look like.

Sleeping habits aren't something that are talked about when considering marriage. No one ever thinks, ya, I bet when we live together it's going to be a nightmare sleeping next to that guy. You know what, sometimes it is. It took me almost a year to be able to sleep in the same room as Karl because of his snoring. The blanket thing is another issue we've had trouble dealing with as well. When Karl and I started sleeping in the same bed together, it became quite clear we are both blanket hogs. We both like to wrap ourselves in a kind of cocoon with our blankets. This is impossible to do with one blanket. I am a side sleeper, and I make him sleep on his side too (because of the snoring), so we can bundle up on one side, but right in the middle there is always a giant gap that lets cold air in. I depicted this in a lovely picture that obviously displays the breadth of my talent.

The giant black "V" represents cold air flowing down our backs. Notice the unhappy looks on our faces. As a result of this unhappiness, we decided to just use two separate blankets. I love mine (fluffy, faux down, with an adorable duvet) and Karl loves his (a soft comforter on the thin side that actually matches mine perfectly). I once had someone tell me that separate blankets would be the downfall of our marriage. That person was a douche anyways, so I never took much stock in his opinion. Apparently, Apartment Therapy says it's okay. It's even trending in Europe right now (I'm so chic), so I'm good with that. I think that we should be able to go with what works. Karl and I are very solitary sleepers, not much cuddling going on there, and that's perfectly okay. I have a dream that blanket hogs and cuddlers alike will be able to sleep in whatever way is comfortable and not be judged by their blanket stealing habits. I have a dream.