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Goin to The Temple and We're Gonna Get Sealed

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Via Aaron Barker Photography

"An empty box is not given substance by the most beautiful gift wrapping. So it is with a civil marriage. It is not the Lord’s way, and no amount of rationalizing will ever change that unchangeable fact."
-Elder Cree-L Kofford

This quote perfectly encompasses my feelings. I loved my wedding day. It was beautiful and well put together. In the end, however, it was an "empty box with beautiful gift wrapping." And I felt it. I still feel it. I felt like however well my wedding day went, that it still would never feel like my wedding. Since I was little, all I've ever wanted was to be married in the temple. Karl and I messed up. We didn't make it there. No amount of words can ever fully explain the loss I felt and still feel for not making it there. It kills me. In primary, when I was younger, we received a white hanger with a rock attached in lace and ribbon. The rock was from the newly built Boston Temple. We were encouraged to keep the hanger for a special place to hang our temple clothes when we went to the temple. I think I'm probably the only one who kept that hanger. It was my goal. My mission. I didn't make it to the temple when I got married, and as a result, I robbed myself. I still look longingly at my friend's pictures who did get married in the temple. I wish it had been me. But it wasn't. I can't change the past. 

This Saturday, in two days, Karl and I are going through the Salt Lake Temple. We will be sealed together for time and eternity. I cannot wait. My whole being is radiating with excitement for that day. I feel like this is the real deal. As much as I felt like my wedding on July 17, 2010 was a sham, I feel like this Saturday is my real wedding day. It's the day when The Lord will give his seal of approval on our marriage. When we will know that we can never be parted in this life, or the next. This Saturday is going to be the most important day of my life. I really wish my parent's could be there, but I don't think they understand the importance of my being sealed to Karl. For me, it's like the cool wind blowing on a hot day. It's relief, it's calm, it's everything in that moment.

I know I've made mistakes and I've had to suffer more than anyone knows for those mistakes. I'm grateful for The Atonement. I'm grateful that I can turn my life around with help from my Savior. I'm so glad that I can't lose the opportunity to go to the temple forever. I'm so glad that with hard work, and a contrite spirit, that my Heavenly Father is still reserving the blessings that come with being sealed for me. After Saturday, I don't think I'll feel that loss that I felt this whole year. I think I will feel whole again. Even more than whole. I will be one of two people in an eternal marriage. I can't wait for Karl and I to be bonded in that way.

For more information on Mormon temples and sealings, I highly suggest reading this article. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I do, however ask that all comments be respectful of my beliefs. Thank you.

3 comments:

Larissa said...

Kristie,
Your testimony of temple marriage is beautiful. You have renewed my determination and hope to have this for myself. I am SO proud of you and SO excited for you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

The Brown Family said...

Kristie with a K! I am so excited for you both!! It will be everything you dreamed of and the second you walk in the door, you will feel more value then anything this world could offer! I got goose bumps just reading your thoughts and send all the happiness your way!! (I can't wait to see photos of this beautiful day!)

Anna said...

Kristie- I just stumbled upon this, and am so glad that I did. Thank for sharing this. Beautiful testimony. I am so proud of you and so very, very happy for you both. xoxo
Ps-I miss visiting teaching you!!

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